Christmas Countdown, December 16th

Jesus Petes Present:
The Three Wise Men Don't Save Christmas

Mr T: Where's that sucka foo Hannibal with our tree?
Santa: Now now, Mr. T, I'm sure he'll be here soon.
Mr T: I hope that honkey didn't wreck my van!
Burt Reynolds: Apetit!

Hannibal: Hey guys, I got the tree you asked for!
Santa: Hannibal, of all the Charlie Browns in the world... you're a God damned moron.

Hannibal: Mr. T, hold me!
Burt: Heh heh, A-Team. More like, uhhh...
Santa: Gay-Team?
Burt: Eh, I was thinking more like "Turd Fergusun!"

Santa: You know, Burt, this isn't such a bad little tree, it just needs some love.
Burt: Hahahahaha, that's what Sally Field said. Hahahahahaha. Seriously, this tree is a piece of crap. Lets go play Win Lose or Draw.

Santa: Christmas is ruined. Without a tree, we might as well just light our eight lame candles and call it ShabAHHHHRRGHHHHHHH!

Burt: Is he dead?
Hannibal: I don't know, Burt, nobody ever got hurt on my show. I only know what to do if he drank milk with a roofie in it.
Mr T: You mutha...

Later that day!

Hannibal: I'm the King of Christmas!
Bear: Dude, isn't that, like, Jesus?
Tree: Hey, do you guys have that Wham! Christmas song on cd or something?

Santa: ...so then this elf who wanted to be a dentist patched me up, and here I am.
Burt: Yeah, great. You know I used to bone Loni Anderson? Let's go to the Christmas party and get wasted.

All: Christmas is the time to say "I love you," share the joys of laughter and good cheer, Christmas is the time to say "I love you," and a feeling that will last all through the year!
Bear: This makes no sense!