Christmas Countdown, December 8th

I don't have any presents today, because there's more to Christmas than getting a bunch of awesome crap. That's right friends, the true meaning of Christmas is decorating a scrawny little tree and listening to a kid with a blanket wrapped around his head talking about Baby Jesus. Thank you Peanuts Christmas Special, you will always have a magical place in my heart right behind the Garfield special where the fat cat cheers up Jon's sad grandma.

Anyhow, tonight in lieu of a gift, I have a story about Barnaby and me. It's a bittersweet tale... O Henry has nothing on real life.

If you don't remember Barnaby, I'm really sorry. Your childhood must have been miserable. Barnaby was a local kids' show starring a crazy old man that lived in a park and dressed like he was the pimp of a barbershop quartet. In between showing Casper cartoons he'd talk to an invisible bird named Long John. Needless to say, I was a big fan.

Barnaby!


Long John!

At Christmas time, kids would send stuff to Barnaby. Some sent ornaments, which he'd decorate the tree on the set with. My sister recieved this fine honor. Others sent cards, and he'd read some of them on the air. I was one of the lazier latter. Every day I'd watch and hope that he'd read mine. If you remember waiting for Miss Molly to see you in the Magic Mirror, imagine that agony x 1,000,000,000 to the 10th power.

Then, one glorious day, right as the show was about to end, he did it. Barnaby read my Christmas card. "Dear Barnaby, Merry Christmas, from MICKEY K. from Barberton." Mickey! Look Barnaby, even though I made my K's like this:

that doesn't make Mikey = Mickey.

Of course I forgave Barnaby immediatley. He fulfilled my childhood dream. Well, one of them, because I never got to ride in KITT. I'm sure there's a moral in this holiday tale somewhere, possibly about poor handwriting. That's really not the point though, because it isn't Christmas until I tell this story. It fills me with a sheer holiday joy that no amount of 7&7's during "It's a Wonderful Life" can duplicate.

Maybe Boko has a Superhost story to tell. I don't think any of us can stomach the one about Judy and Big Chuck again.

Mi(c)ky