Q: Whatever happened to predictability?

The milkman, the paperboy, and ridiculously triumphant television theme songs???

A: You're getting warm.
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Warmer.
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TOO FAR! Sorry, you've spontaneously combusted. Our condolences. Moving on...

I was never a big fan of the TGIF shows, aside from Perfect Strangers. No matter how hard you try to be surly, Balki will win over your heart. Just ask Cousin Larry. Regardless, there's one thing that, as a musical genius (so says Grandma) and astute tv watcher (so says the Pope), always blew my mind. Those crazy bastards at Bickley-Warren/Miller-Boyett in association with Lorimar Productions managed to squeeze four different themes out of one.

Slow start? Check.
Build up to exuberant chorus? Check!
Ridiculous flourish to cap it off? EM EFFING CHECK! and I don't throw caps-locked, phonetically abbreviated swears around willy-nilly.

Alright, I just read all of that, and I'm pretty sure that nearly six weeks of vacation has left me a bit slow in the head. Sorry about this one, folks. Boko and I are going to do a joint feature on M.A.S.K. soon. I promise that it won't be this bad, and that Brad Turner won't die.

Mike