TV Commercial HOOTIE of the Week

Hottie? Hootie? Who? Whaaa? Before you work yourself up into an adorable Hugh Grant mumblig fit of confusion, let me explain.

No, I'm not Akshay Buddiga, runner up in the 2004 Scripps National Spelling Bee. Hootie, in it's caps-locked splendor, is indeed the correct spelling. Language of origin: bitchin'. If you want to hear it used in a sentence, sit tight.

Now some of you might argue about the relative hotness of one Darius Rucker. I don't blame you. But someone, somewhere out in this topsy-turvey world we live in, must think the man is at least a solid 7. You don't sell 89 billion copies of an album on pure musicianship alone.

Regardless, the profits from the aforementioned 89 billion albums apparently have been squandered in high stakes golf outings against Huey Lewis and Chevy Chase. Otherwise, Hootie* just really, really likes being in stupid (read: awesome) commercials.

It all starts out innocently enough. Innocent here being Hootie in a purple sequin cowboy suit. Then, to the tune of some song that was probably in O Brother Where Art Thou, he delivers a soulful cowboy ballad about chicken sandwiches. I haven't tasted one yet, but based on the ad alone, it is 600% more delicious than Wendy's Wild Mountain Chicken.

Anyhow I don't want to spoil the whole thing for you. Here it is, the most absurd tv commercial ever created. Enjoy! (Enjoy only if you are using Internet Explorer and Media Player 10. Bill Gates hates us.)

* I know that the guy isn't actually called Hootie, and doesn't like being called Hootie. This is me not caring.

It's like we've been together for a million years.

Oh Ellen, if you stay we'd subtract twenty years from our lives.

The Great Phone Number Recovery of 2005

Bill Nye's science tip of the day: When cell phones get really wet, they stop working. That hot tub ruined more than Bill's good name. Har!

Any of you kind souls that would have had the same phone numbers as I did (Squatch, Harndino, Nick Ramone) send me a message at endlessmike123 or an email at endlessmike@neo.rr.com (continuity rules) and gimme them digits, yo. I guess this would be a prime opportunity for you guys to never talk to me again, which is cool too. You decide!

Also, I'm working on finding some webspace to host a few movies of Braddad, but if anyone wants to see them give Boko or me an IM.

Edit - Scroll down, the pictures have been fixed.

Super Sloppy Wedding Extravaganza

The big day has come and gone, and what a great time it was. Thanks to the digital revolution, memories that should have been washed away by gin like the sands of some gin filled beach live on forever. Here is a brief recap of the event. Congratulations to Rusty and Jen. Especially Jen, because she's now a Petes sister-in-law.

Before the ceremony, we enjoyed our time in church (no, it's true!) by playing kickball, Win Lose or Draw, and putting on a great play starring Brett as Baby Jesus, Brad as Beuwulf, and me as Zeus.



Here's Brad making love to the camera, showing us why he's been voted Favorite Pete for nine years running. Scott and Rachel wholeheartedly agree.



Here I am with my pardner Kristy. This is a good baseline, as it's the last time you'll see me anywhere near Soberville, which I'm told is just east of Deerfield. Yes, I sold my neck for drug money.



Rusty's brother and best man Reggie, who ironically is white but still named Reggie, sampling a beer. He seemed to like it. Keith was watching Victory Garden, because he could.



Judy's dad, who we all love very much because he paid for the bar to be open extremely late.



Braddad is not only Lord of the Dance, but also the patron saint of getting down.



Sasquatch and I have known eachother for over 20 years, but that doesn't make it any less gay, or any more wrong.



We'll never know whether I said "Boko, that is one sharp tie!" or "Boko, that is one short tie!" Chances are it was neither.



Braddad is only missing the all day sucker to finish off the Little Stinker look he's got going here. Regardless, the ladies couldn't get enough Braddad.



This is not the first time one of us has been molested by Bill.



Hang on Sloopy, and hang on crazy drunk guy next to me. Whoever he is, he's now an honorary Pete. It may have been one of us visiting from the future. Like... 10 years in the future.



Braddad once again showing his stuff. If, God forbid, there's a Blues Brothers 3, we have our Joliet Jake.



Brett and I may or may not have gotten engaged right after this was taken. Either way, the baby is due in November.



Everyone has a little Cap'n in them. And a lot of beer, some gin...



There is really no caption I can add to make this any funnier. Three cheers for Braddad.



This isn't trick photography, that's actually me in the middle there. I'm as confused as you, but I bet is has something to do with those Zach Braff good looks of mine.



I don't know the official scores of the last Meet the Petes, but Brett was indeed the first to pass out.

All in all it was an awesome time, I think I speak for everyone when I agree with Theo...
this party was:


More to come...

Why School is Cool: Reason #42

When I'm not building tiny stairs, drawing pictures of tiny stairs, or creating doccuments on how tinys stairs should be built, I'm learning about things like this:



as seen in

FAMILY CIRCUS

Yeah I know, any excuse for a Family Circus gag.

We really do have stuff for updates.

The Iraqi people have voted, and the results are in! Jesus Petes is the Shiite Muslims' overwhelming choice for Occasionally Updated Sort of Funny Website. Democracy reigns supreme yet again! Unfortunately, peace is still far from reach, with Sunni warlords firmly backing seanbaby.com, and Kurds remaining loyal to crazygrandpa.com, which as far as I recall has been offline since like 2000. They're a little backward.

Now that I've got us properly red-flagged by the guvvermint, we'll be sure to update a little more often. Maybe Jack Bauer will start readinig, if he ever gets a day off.

Stuff in the works:

- as yet untitled M.A.S.K. article
- Huey Lewis '01 Revisited
- roughly 48 Meet the Petes games
- "Pimp my Hotwheels"
- Judy's Wedding Story (check local tv listings for the accompanying TLC doccumentary.)

You're Invited!

¿Qué? - Judy's Bachelor Party, which for the record, shall contain no Tom Hanks, donkey, or nudity.

¿Cuándo? - Saturday, FebRUary 5th, 7 PM - ??? (People like when things end at "???" because it implies that the event could, in theory, go on forever.)

¿Dónde? - Meet up at Reggie's house in Wadsvegas, and bus on out from there.

¿Por Qué? - Because it's the right thing to do. Nick Brand, Harndino, I'm looking in your direction here. I don't know who else reads this anymore, but as long as you don't suck at life you're invited too.